Recently a short story that I’d written for the TRUST ME TOO anthology back in 2012 was added to the READ ME A STORY, INK website. This is a great reading resource for kids, parents and teachers. If you are any one of those – CHECK IT OUT!

My story was called Oh Brother, What Art Thou?

It was a weird sci-fi comedy about the sudden and startling appearance of a mysterious stranger. Here are the opening few paragraphs.

GET THIS. You are so not going to believe it.

About twenty minutes ago Mum calls me for dinner, see. So I go out and everyone’s at the table because Nan is visiting us which means we’re having one of those special sit-down, can’t-have-the-TV-on-under-any-circumstances, forced-to-listen-to-boring-conversation kind of meals together.

Anyway Nan’s grabbed the spot at the head of the table, so I pull up a chair across from Mum and Dad and the first thing I notice is the number places set. I’m about to say something but Dad calls out, ‘Jason! Come on matey. We’re waiting to eat here.’ Then Mum rolls her eyes and asks him, ‘What does that son of ours do in his room all day anyway?’

Well of course I go to say something again but Mum beats me to it. ‘Finally,’ she says, looking somewhere behind me, ‘Come on Jas, hurry up or it’s going to get cold.’

And before I know it, the chair next to me gets yanked back and I hear, ‘Shove over Sis. We all know your bum is enormous but you don’t need that much room.’

Now I guess that sounds fairly normal right? Just the sort of thing a pea-brained, pain-in-the-butt brother would say to his amazingly beautiful and absolutely average-backside-sized sister?

Sure. Except for this one teensy-weensy detail:

I DON’T HAVE A BROTHER!

You can read or download the full story HERE.

In 2015 I wrote a story for the RICH & RARE anthology called The Knitting Needle Ninja.

It was a humorous fictional piece based on a real incident in my youth when my older brother Robert got me so angry one day (his special talent back then) that I picked up one of my mother’s big knitting needles without thinking and hurled it across the room … in his general direction.

I wasn’t trying to hit or hurt him, honestly. And there was no way if I’d actually tried that I could get a knitting needle to spin across two rooms and make contact with my brother.

But you know that thing that Yoda says, ‘Don’t try. Do.’

Weeeeeell …

For the FUNNY BONES anthology (2019) I came up with a story called Crime and Pun-ishment. And as the name implies I try to pack as many outrageous puns into it as humanely possible.

The premise was a detective trying to solve a murder which has taken place in a refrigerator – the suspects being the common items you would find in the fridge. (No, it wasn’t based on a true story.)

Here’s a taste:

Police Investigation Report by Detective Iva Noclue

It started out as just another routine investigation, but all that changed when I opened the fridge door.
The body was there lying before me. It was wrapped in plastic, naked, plucked and headless. It was obviously the work of a madman. I examined it more closely: female chicken, size 20, possibly from Ingham, and judging by the aroma – marinated.
You have to deal with some sick people in this job.
I immediately set out on the trail of the killer. I threw open the chiller door.
‘Freeze!’ I shouted. Luckily everyone already had.

I also wrote a short story for a German anthology FORGE DEINEM TRAUM (2013) which was put together by my German publisher Carl Hanser.

My contribution was Ismael und das Team seiner Taume. (Ishmael and the Dream Team)

In the story the characters from the Ishmael series share the weirdest dreams they’ve ever had. Their dreams tend to reveal the essence of their characters. Naturally the Razzman’s dream is the most outlandish.

If you’re familiar with the ISHMAEL SERIES and would like to read the English version of the story, go HERE.

Finally my contribution to SHORT (2008) was a piece called Teacher’s Diary.

The situation was a primary school teacher writing reports on each of their students. The twist was the students just happened to be very young versions of famous comic and movie super heroes and villains. It seems they were already showing signs of their future selves.

The dozen or so students included kids like Ian D. N. R. Jones (come on stop groaning, that’s pretty good!), Yoda I. Am and Vol D. Mort.

Here’s and example of one of the reports:

D. V.  Sky-Walker

A strange boy. Loves his sport but sometimes wants to play for the opposition team. Has a tantrum if he can’t be Captain and if I’m not careful he tries to take over the classroom. Must get the infirmary to check him out – that wheezy breath of his is getting worse and he’s sounding croakier every day. I’m sure it’s from always sitting in that gloomy corner of the classroom under that busted fluorescent light. And no wonder the thing’s always broken, twice now I’ve caught young Sky-Walker leaping over desks and madly waving it about. I’ve suggested to D. V. that he’d be far better off moving to the other side of the room near the windows where it’s warm and sunny. But he insists that he prefers the dark side.