blog 62: In which I have to draw on all my vast powers of interpretation!

The other day my petrol driven whipper-snipper/weed trimmer broke down and I had to use a little electric one that was tucked away at the back of our garden shed.

Yes, we are a dual whipper-snipper family!

Anyway, when I took the electric one out of the shed I noticed a yellow Warning/Instruction sticker along the base.

I wasn’t immediately sure what it all meant. But after much soul-searching, I feel I’ve pretty much narrowed it down.



The first panel was fairly obvious and straightforward:


I interpreted this to mean:

Don’t read a book while trimming the edges!

Or alternatively:

What are you doing the lawn for? Haven’t you got a novel to write!

However, the second panel I found to be a bit trickier.


Now at first glance, I thought the left-hand image contained instructions on how to master the Moonwalk or possibly some Disco moves. But on closer examination, I realised this was patently ludicrous and that the image could only really be saying one of three things.


Don’t throw a fit while trapped inside a cramped equilateral triangle!


If someone is shooting arrows at you, be sure to wear your suit of armour!


To avoid the harmful rays of the sun (even very low angle ones in the very late afternoon), put on reflective clothing and stay inside a tent!

The interpretation of the right hand panel would seem to differ depending on whether you see it as a front view or an overhead view.

If it’s a front view I’d go for:

If this is a brick wall, and this is you, then you have mastered the art of levitation!

If it’s an overhead view then once again, I think the meaning’s fairly clear:

Be sure to leave a reasonable space between the dividing wall of your property and where you bury the body!

The third panel, is probably the least obscure of all.


I’m sure there wouldn’t be much dispute over the meaning of the left hand image.

If you have a badly frayed cord, just plug it in and unplug it, the same as you would a normal cord. 

But the right hand image I believe throws up two very different, yet equally valid, possibilities:

Don’t use the grass trimmer while under laser attack by an alien spaceship!


Should you encounter a giant Man of War Jellyfish during gardening, use your whipper-snipper to slice through its tentacles!

And there was this final image on the sticker, but I just assumed it was an ad for Breaking Bad.


Well I trust I’ve sorted out any potentially dangerous confusion there, but if you foolishly feel there may be additional interpretations to the ones I have already proposed, then I’d be only too happy to hear them.


This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to blog 62: In which I have to draw on all my vast powers of interpretation!

  1. Kerri/Kaz says:

    Michael, Michael, Michael.. It has an Asian origin and so should be read from right to left:
    Hence: Far right panel: Don’t use the whipper-snipper in the shower. {Though having whipper-snippered my own shower cubicle (been very humid here) just yesterday, I am grateful for the timely reminder.}

    Next to far right panel: especially one with a frayed cord.
    Right side middle panel: or you’ll end up dead.
    Left middle panel: Via electrocution
    Right first panel: the book won’t get written
    Left first: and you’ll be in lots of trouble!!! (if being dead isn’t bad enough…)

    As for the guy? Maybe they’re just saying ‘can also be used at night during blackout army ops?

    Could be the next WMD? Whipper of Mass Destruction?

    Thanks for the distraction and giggle. My fave is the fit in the equilateral triangle. I’m embarrassed to admit it triggered a cliched diet coke snort. Love you work.


    • mgbauer says:

      Hi Kaz
      Great to hear from you! Brilliant suggestions. I think that the right to left reading is obviously the key. Of course now I have a strong desire to whipper-snip my shower cubicle. Take that, mould!
      I’m looking forward to getting my hands on a copy of ‘Almost Dead’. Hearing great things about it.


  2. Ron Day says:

    It’s beyond me. The triangle could have something to do with being hit by ricocheting objects that your whipper snips up. And I guess that could relate to keeping away from walls because they are more likely to have small rocks around their base? But who knows. These icons are probably culturally-based and drawn up by a disenchanted worker in a small village in China or Korea of Taiwan who wanted to record his frustration with his boss. He probably wanted to beat him to a pulp with his Taekwondo skills and bury the remains in a hole in the ground.


  3. Ron Day says:

    The first panel obviously means ‘If you are devoid of ideas, DON’T write a novel.’
    The second one suggests that if you can’t get the machine to work, go into the attic and bang your head and punch and kick walls and floor until the frustration has left you.The companion pic obviously says, ‘Don’t take your frustration out on a brick wall.’
    The last one poses the question ‘If it’s the middle of the night, why are you wearing glasses in the dark.’


    • mgbauer says:

      Excellent work Ron! You have astounding interpretation skills! The big question is though, what does that second panel actually mean? I honestly don’t know. Cheers Michael


  4. Trust you Michael to see the light hearted side of life, when things get too serious, you have a knack of making me laugh! Love this blog post 🙂


  5. Dyan says:

    Well what ARE you doing mowing the lawn? You DO have a novel to write. And that last image is the scary man we send over if we find out you’ve been mowing the lawn again…


    • mgbauer says:

      I know. But Ard reckons just because she does ‘everything else’ that mowing the lawn is my responsibility. There’s no reasoning with some people! And here’s a challenge for you Dyan. What do the two images in that second panel actually mean? I really can’t work it out.


Cot a COMMENT or QUESTION? Love to hear from you!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s