The other day my petrol driven whipper-snipper/weed trimmer broke down and I had to use a little electric one that was tucked away at the back of our garden shed.
Yes, we are a dual whipper-snipper family!
Anyway, when I took the electric one out of the shed I noticed a yellow Warning/Instruction sticker along the base.
I wasn’t immediately sure what it all meant. But after much soul-searching, I feel I’ve pretty much narrowed it down.
The first panel was fairly obvious and straightforward:
I interpreted this to mean:
Don’t read a book while trimming the edges!
What are you doing the lawn for? Haven’t you got a novel to write!
However, the second panel I found to be a bit trickier.
Now at first glance, I thought the left-hand image contained instructions on how to master the Moonwalk or possibly some Disco moves. But on closer examination, I realised this was patently ludicrous and that the image could only really be saying one of three things.
Don’t throw a fit while trapped inside a cramped equilateral triangle!
If someone is shooting arrows at you, be sure to wear your suit of armour!
To avoid the harmful rays of the sun (even very low angle ones in the very late afternoon), put on reflective clothing and stay inside a tent!
The interpretation of the right hand panel would seem to differ depending on whether you see it as a front view or an overhead view.
If it’s a front view I’d go for:
If this is a brick wall, and this is you, then you have mastered the art of levitation!
If it’s an overhead view then once again, I think the meaning’s fairly clear:
Be sure to leave a reasonable space between the dividing wall of your property and where you bury the body!
The third panel, is probably the least obscure of all.
I’m sure there wouldn’t be much dispute over the meaning of the left hand image.
If you have a badly frayed cord, just plug it in and unplug it, the same as you would a normal cord.
But the right hand image I believe throws up two very different, yet equally valid, possibilities:
Don’t use the grass trimmer while under laser attack by an alien spaceship!
Should you encounter a giant Man of War Jellyfish during gardening, use your whipper-snipper to slice through its tentacles!
And there was this final image on the sticker, but I just assumed it was an ad for Breaking Bad.
Well I trust I’ve sorted out any potentially dangerous confusion there, but if you foolishly feel there may be additional interpretations to the ones I have already proposed, then I’d be only too happy to hear them.