You’ll never guess where I am!
Oh, right. There you go. Well done, you. But just remember – no one loves a clever dick!
Anyway I’ve been inundated by an avalanche of questions (FACT CHECK REQUIRED) about particular details of LIFE in QUARANTINE so I thought I’d better start answering a few of them before I was completely over-whelmed.
So here goes.
Q1. Hi Michael – love your book The Things That Will Not Stand and I think everyone should read it but I was just wondering if you could explain how the daily meal deliveries work? Reebekkaaah
Sure Reebekkaaah no problems!
It’s like this. Three times a day there is a knock at our door. We have to wait for 10 seconds before opening it because, you know, virus. When we do, the Corridor Kitchen Elves (who we never see) make our food magically appear! See below. When we finish we bundle up our rubbish and place it outside and then the Corridor Cleaning Elves magically whisk it away.
Q2. Hi Michael – love your book The Running Man (even better than Stephen King’s one) and I think everyone should read it, but like all my cool friends I’m dying to know what your ROOM FEATURE OF THE DAY is. Konnaaaar
Hold your breath no longer Konnaaaar because the ROOM FEATURE OF THE DAY for Wed Oct 21st is … the EXTENDO TWO-SIDED FLIPPY MAGNIFYING BATHROOM MIRROR!
(Could only be improved if the magnifying side came with the warning: Things in this mirror may appear more horrifying than they normally do.)
Q3. Hi Michael – love your Ishmael Trilogy and I think everyone should read it but what I was wondering was, have you got any photos of your wife standing out in the ‘fresh air’ deck with her arms in the air for no apparent reason? Soozaanne
Hey, as luck would have it Soozaanne …
Q4. Hi Michael – love your book Just a Dog and I think everyone should read it, but I was wondering if you’ve taken the opportunity to let your creative juices flow while you been in quarantine? Kallum
Great question Kallum! While I’m more known as a writer of YA and Children’s books (available online or at all good bookstores and heaps of really dodgy ones!) it may come as a surprise to some that I am also highly respected for my innovative art installations.
Here’s one I whipped up today.
If I can just explain it briefly for the lay person who knows nothing about ART.
You see what I’ve done is, I’ve taken an actual apple from our lunch package and I’ve written the words The Beatles on it in marker pen as a visual representation of the famous Beatles’ Apple Logo and then (and here’s the genius part) I’ve positioned the real apple ironically on my laptop right in front of a screen featuring images of numerous Beatle Apple Logos.
Of course there’s much more to it than that but I’d obviously be wasting my breath trying to explain it to someone like you Kallum.
Q5. Hi Michael – love your Eric Vale series and Rodney Loses It and I think everyone should read them but I am curious to know how the police are treating you? Jazzzzmun
Glad you asked Jazzzzmun! The BOYS in BLUE along all the Management and all the Staff at the BRISBANE MARRIOTT who have been taking care of us, get TWO THUMBS UP from Adriana and me!
And I think that’s a very good note on which to finish.
I know a lot of people will be bitter and disappointed that I didn’t get around to answering their question but I’m only human.
Plus there are only 24 hours in a day.
Which given our present circumstances Ard and I agree are FAR TOO MANY!