Well those drifter’s days are past me now I’ve got so much more to think about Deadlines and commitments What to leave in, what to leave out. (Against The Wind – Bob Seger)
I have two picture books coming out next year. One’s a humorous story (he says optimistically) about a frog who dares to dream. 🐸 The text of that one is done and dusted so my work is basically over. Now it’s in the hands of my editor and the illustrator. I’m very much looking forward to seeing the first images.
Now I’m in process of going through the text of the second picture book with my editor. This one is a humorous story (he says optimistically again) involving an elephant. 🐘 But not just any elephant. Although that’s about as much as I can say.
The text for the elephant story is around 450 words. You’d think compared to editing a novel it would be a piece of cake. Not so. There are many things that need to be addressed and important decisions that have to be made. Like …
Should the story focus on just one elephant or a group of elephants?
If one elephant, should the elephant’s gender be specified or should it be gender neutral?
Where’s the best place for commas to go? Full stops? Ellipses? Exclamation marks!!!!!!!!
Why did I stupidly use the word ‘flout’ when I really mean ‘flaunt’ and what do I do now that using ‘flaunt’ totally ruins the rhyme of an entire verse?
What words/phrases should I change/adjust/rearrange/add/subtract to make it sound better?
Are the verses in the BEST POSSIBLE ORDER? Hmmmmmmmmmmm?
That last question is the one I’ve been working on for the last few days and it’s driving me insane.
It turns out that because this particular story doesn’t follow a clear narrative line, there’s actually an INFINITE number of combinations and permutations in which the verses could be arranged.
And I should know because I’ve tried most of them!
I even printed out all the verses and cut them up so that I could physically swap them around. (That’s not my blood in the photo by the way – although it might as well be – that’s just my attempt to obscure the words). If a gust of wind had come in at this point, my life would have been over.
BUT now I think I’ve finally got it just about right. YAY! 😃
Although … what if I swap that verse there for this one here … and what if I move that one closer to the end … and then switch these ones for those ones … so that now, if you read it backwards … … … 😕
Ok I set myself a goal in 2024 of writing a new blog every week.
So here I am.
I mean I did clip my toenails a few days ago and one of knees has started to do strange and unexpected things which is a little unsettling, but is that really the kind of content you’re hanging out for? (And by the way, if it is, seek help.)
Anyway the upshot is, that my struggle to come up with something fascinating to write about got me thinking about the concept of WRITER’S BLOCK and that reminded me I had in fact written a blog on that VERY TOPIC many moons ago. (Over 3,000 moons ago actually or about 12 years.)
So for my, and your, instruction and edification I sought out that sacred, ancient text to uncover if the pearls of wisdom it contained might be of use to me in my current predicament.
I edited it down a little, but HERE’S WHAT I FOUND:
TEN SURE-FIRE WAYS TO BEAT WRITERS’ BLOCK!
1. Get someone to give you a short, sharp whack to the side of the head with a BLUNT OBJECT. I know that this particular technique works well whenever I get a fuel blockage in the lawn mower so I’m pretty sure the same principle should apply to ideas stuck in the brain. (Word of caution. Make sure the person who you choose to administer the blow is at least vaguely fond of you.)
2 Think of your FAVOURITE WRITER and ask yourself what they would do in the same situation. Of course no matter who you choose, the answer is always the same, “He/She would probably come up with some really brilliant idea that would dramatically advance the plot, reveal character or totally enthrall their readers.” So, yeah, just do that.
3. Throw in the towel. Stare at the blank page/computer screen and say, “Oh well that’s it then. I’m stuffed. I got nothin’. I can’t write for nuts!’ (Warning: This option does not come highly recommended.)
4. Look on your writer’s block not as a problem but an OPPORTUNITY! Eg. ‘Hey while I’m temporarily bereft of ideas, I’ll have time to make myself a cup of coffee!’ Or, depending on the extent or your blockage, ‘Hey I’ll have time to clean the house/build that deck/study to become a doctor/find myself/complete the map of the human genome.
5. Blame EXTERNAL FACTORS for your inability to come up with any decent ideas. Eg: ‘It’s too hot/cold/mild to write! How can I be expected to think of any good ideas and watch TV at the same time! This computer’s crap! I bet Tolstoy never had to put up with equipment like this! All my teachers let me down. They should have MADE me pay attention in class. That’s their job! I blame my external factors!’
6. STEAL an idea from another book, preferable one by a long dead author who can’t accuse you of plagiarism. So for example: Not enough drama, emotion and tension in your children’s adventure story? Then why not have your protagonist lose a leg to a GREAT WHITE WHALE? (Tip: Maybe make it a beige whale in order to disguise the actual source of your inspiration.)
7. Use the ‘COME BACK LATER’ technique. If you hit a difficult point in your story and you’re not sure exactly how to proceed just type in the line – Insert something interesting here – and move on. However you may still have some work to do if your story ends up sounding like this …
Darius felt his stomach churn as he entered the grounds of his new school, Desolation High for the first time. Insert something interesting here. ‘Phew,’ sighed Darius on Graduation Day, ‘I’m glad those five years are over!’
8. Start asking ‘WHAT IF?’ questions to stimulate storyline and other ideas. What if my main character inherited a million dollars? What if he/she had to face his/her greatest fear? What if he/she isn’t what he/she seems? What if I reveal my secret spy work?
NB: Types of ‘What if’ questions you should avoid – What if I never come up with another good idea ever again in my entire life? What if I totally suck at writing but everyone is too nice to tell me so?
9. Use the power of POSITIVE THOUGHT. Repeat the mantra: “There is no such thing as writers’ block. There is no such thing as writers’ block.” Which is probably true. It might just be that you’ve entered a time in your life where, for whatever reason, you may not be able to think of any good writing ideas for a very, very, very long time. If ever.
10. Recognise that writers’ block might actually be a GOOD THING. (This one’s a bit ridiculous but I’m running out of ideas here.) Have you ever thought that having to stop and think for a while, even a long while, might actually be OK? That maybe you don’t actually “suffer” from writers’ block, but rather “BENEFIT” from it. That all it means is that you want your writing to be the very best it can be and that the ‘block’ part is just you stubbornly blocking out anything that’s not good enough to be part of your work. Surely the worse thing you could possibly be as a writer is “easily satisfied”. So perhaps it’s more like “writers’ QUALITY CONTROL control” than “writers’ block”. But however you label it, isn’t it a good thing that you’re willing and able to tell your muse in no uncertain terms, “I’m still here you bastard and no matter how long it takes, I’m not going anywhere until you and I come up with something worthwhile!”
So what happened was, I read all those incredibly wise suggestions and they really helped. Not only was I able to complete my blog as you can see, but I also came up with AN ADDITIONALSURE-FIRE WAY TO BEAT WRITERS’ BLOCK.
This one!
11. When all else fails, just basically CUT AND PASTE something you’ve written in the past, add a few words here and there, and desperately hope nobody notices.
**** insert something interesting here ****
Cheers Michael
PS: I finished my first book in my ’24 in 24′ Reading Challenge. The painful truth of the Native Police and our brutal, unreconciled past. A detailed, difficult and devastating read but highly recommended.
PPS: If you have any good suggestions for beating Writers’ Block or questions for me or topic suggestions for my next blog or you just want to COMMENT about anything or say Hi, then PLEASE DO SO!
A very belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
So … it appears that in 2023 I managed to write just 3 blogs. ☹
Pathetic I know. But I promise to do better this year – as I think I have promised every year since I started the blog. I’m nothing if not consistent.
This year I’m actually secretly planning to do a blog every week. (No, that’s not a threat!) But I’m not saying that plan out loud just in case my next blog is entitled – 2024 Week 52: The Year In Review!
At the very least I’m determined to beat the meagre 3 blog shame that was 2023. And it’s not like things didn’t happen last year. (He said, slyly segueing into 2023 Week 52: The Year In Review!)
Overall in 2023 I achieved 10 of my 23 WRITING RELATED GOALS AND DREAMS. (See this BLOG for a full explanation of what these entail.)
That’s a solid enough result overall. It basically means I achieved most of the ‘GOOD CHANCE IT MIGHT HAPPEN’ goals but few of the ‘IT’S POSSIBLE BUT DOUBTFUL’ and none of the ‘DIVINE INTERVENTION IS DEFINITELY REQUIRED’ goals.
On the BOOKS and WRITING front things were fairly quiet.
I’ve cut back on talks so I only visited a couple schools both of which went well.
I have two picture books currently being worked on by two great illustrators. They’re due out in 2025.
I finally completed that YA novel that’s been on my GOALS list for a few years. It’s still searching for a home and may need a re-look and a re-think.
As mentioned in a previous blog RODNEY FORGETS IT! was shortlisted for the 2023 Speech Pathology Awards in the 3-5 year category and RODNEY LOSES IT! was shortlisted in the Picture Book category in the 2023 R.E.A.L. Awards (Reading and Enjoying Australian Literature)
And finally (drumroll please) Reading With A Chance Of Tacos Podcast voted RODNEY FORGETS IT! as their 2023 Best Picture Book!
My wife and I also did some TRAVELLING/HOLIDAYING – including three visits to Melbourne to see the grand kiddies and lovely stays at Burleigh Heads, Tangalooma and Nanango.
But our big trips were to TASSIE (green photos) …
… and ULURU (brown photos). Both were fantastic.
I also successfully completed my ’23 in 23′ READING CHALLENGE actually making it to 26 books in total.
My favourite fiction book was Lola in the Mirror by Trent Dalton.
But I also read a lot of fantastic biographies and autobiographies which I highly recommend. Including:
Scattershot – Bernie Taupin
Being Henry – Henry Winkler
Open – Andre Agassi
A Freewheelin’ Time – Suze Rotolo
Boys in Trees – Carly Simon
Just Ignore Him – Alan Davies
Dying of Politeness – Geena Davis
And So It Goes – Kurt Vonnegut
The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner – Grace Tame
Born a Crime – Trevor Noah
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
Tripping Over Myself – Shaun Micallef
Me – Elton John
So that’s it for a quick look back on 2023.
CHEERS to an even more blog-filled 2024!
PS: I love to receive comments or feedback or just a cheery hello. So if you feel so inclined, don’t hesitate. Maybe a book recommendation for my ’24 in 24′ Reading Challenge?
Well I’ve been really slack with blogging this year. (Yes I know, I’m shocked too.) Not sure where the time has gone.
On the writing front I have two picture books contracted with Scholastic Australia – one to come out in 2024 and one in 2025 – so that’s really pleasing. Both involve animals, neither of which is this rabbit.
In other great news RODNEY FORGETS IT! has been shortlisted for the 2023 Speech Pathology Awards in the 3-5 year category.
And … RODNEY LOSES IT! has been shortlisted in the 2023 R.E.A.L. Awards Shortlist in the Picture Book category. The R.E.A.L. Awards (Reading and Enjoying Australian Literature) are the children’s choice book awards in Australia. This means that Rodney is shortlisted in the three separate state awards – the YABBAs, KOALAs, and KROCs – and is eligible to be a winner in any and/or all of them when the children of Australia vote later this year.
In further writing news I finally completed a YA manuscript that I started way back in 2019 when I was awarded a Queensland Writers Fellowship to work on it. It is now currently looking for a home.
Apart from that I went to these places and did these things which I feel are all pretty much self-explanatory.
More recently I died a thousand deaths as I watched my favourite team lose the unlosable Grand Final. Still in recovery mode and doing as well as could be expected.
Next year Broncos!
And lastly, this is what I’ll be doing in just over a week and I’ll be hoping with all my heart that the vast majority of my fellow Australians might decide to do like-wise.
Michael Gerard Bauer Author 