Facebook memories today threw up some photos from 2019 when The Things That Will Not Stand won the Prime Minister’s Award for Young Adult Literature.

The narrator of the book is a sixteen year old boy called SEBASTIAN. He’s currently near the end of Year 11 and at a University Open Day. Sebastian doesn’t really know who he is or where his future lies. He thinks he’ll probably study TOWN PLANNING simply because, well, ‘there will always be towns’.

Sebastian meets a girl at the Open Day called FRIDA. She’s a writer and story-teller. She can’t imagine anyone wanting to be Town Planner. When she learns that Sebastian also plays guitar and secretly writes poems and lyrics, she borrows a guitar and challenges him to play one of his songs for her, something he’s never done for anyone before. It’s one of my favourite scenes in the novel.

Here’s an edited version of what happens:

Frida is silent but her wide, expectant eyes tell me that she’s keen for me to begin. I don’t share any of her enthusiasm.

‘I’ve written a few things. Different kinds of songs. I don’t know which one to play.’

Frida thinks about it, then puts a hand beside her mouth as if she’s sharing some secret and whispers to me in her shredded voice.

‘Play the one that the Town Planner wouldn’t have the courage to play,’ she says.

Straightaway I know what song that would be. What I don’t know is whether or not I have the courage to play it.

I rest the body of the guitar as comfortably as I can on my right leg and begin to pick out the opening bars. My throat is tight and my fingers move like big clumsy sausages on the strings. I can’t see Frida and I don’t want to. I stare at a small patch of grass in front of me and try to forget that she’s even there.

I pluck the notes of a G chord and move to a C. It’s now or never. I take a breath.

And I’m singing.

The first words come out more air than sound. But as I continue my voice takes on some shape and form. By the time I complete the chorus and move onto the next verses it’s like I’m listening to someone else.

Eventually I strum the last chord, wait a second, then rest my hand across the strings to deaden them.

It takes a while for the outside world to reappear. The world where Frida has been sitting an arm’s length away listening to a song and words that I thought no one else but me would ever hear. It requires a real physical effort, but I force myself to look at her. She’s staring at the same patch of grass I was. She doesn’t speak. The silence grinds on for too long and I have to put an end to it.

‘So … I should probably just stick to Town Planning then, eh?’

There’s another long grind before a single word drops from her lips.

‘Maybe …’

Maybe? Who knew that such a tiny, insignificant, nothing kind of a word could hit with such a brutal force. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the chest and now I’m struggling to breathe as everything inside of me crumbles and falls away.

Frida looks up. A sheen of moisture is in her eyes.

‘… but only if you can plan a town that’s as beautiful as that song,’ she says.

And just like that, someone has reversed the film and I’m gulping in air again and all the bruised and broken things inside of me are being reassembled and rebuilt. Somehow bigger, better and stronger than before.

I can really relate to Sebastian. When I left school and was heading to Uni I loved stories and words and my secret dream would have been to become a singer-songwriter.

So naturally I enrolled in Commerce-Law.*

Winning the PM’s Award for TTTWNS was an amazing thrill and honour. (And a big financial bonus!)

But that doesn’t mean that everyone has loved it. You just have to scroll through a few reviews on Good Reading to see that some people don’t care for it much at all.

Take LEO for example:

“I’d like to give u a zero. But that’s not possible, so I’m giving u… a one”

Honestly- this book was probably not as bad as I said it would be/am still saying it is. I just had too many frustrations.

It wasn’t for me. 1/5☆

But then there are also people like CRYSTAL:

A MUST READ!!!

This book was so beautiful. I loved Sebastian, Tolly and Frida, especially Frida. Sebastian and Frida’s story left me bawling whilst their playful banter made my cheeks hurt from smiling. I absolutely adored Frida’s character. Her piercings, her hair and especially her way of coping with reality. This book was absolutely fantastic and I am so, so glad that I had the fortune of reading it.

The sweetest 4 hours of my life. 5/5☆

When you write a book and send it out into the world, it’s a bit like Sebastian taking a chance and playing that song for Frida. You don’t know if you’re going to end up feeling somewhat “bruised and broken” or feeling rebuilt “bigger, better and stronger than before”.

Thankfully for this book there have been more CRYSTALS than LEOS.

Cheers
Michael

*I ended up quitting Com/Law after the first year and changing to Social Work and then I quit Social Work the next year and changed to Arts concentrating on English Literature. Which, because I loved words and stories, is what I should have done from the start!

The Things That Will Not Stand is filled with memories and connections to people, places and events from my time at University of Queensland. It has a special place in my heart. It’s a bit like a love letter to those days.